


Love, Genji

by TenjoZakito



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9069304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenjoZakito/pseuds/TenjoZakito
Summary: Two of the people who loved Genji the most in the world, one had hurt him, one was hurt by him.Please read notes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Purely McGenji, NO Mc/hanzo, NO incest.
> 
> I feel that whenever these three are put together it always end up complicating things, but this is a story of Hanzo and Genji's brotherhood and Genji and Jesse's love over the years.
> 
> Because ultimately it's still a McGenji fic so I started with Jesse and Genji's part first instead of Genji's childhood with Hanzo.
> 
> The narrative would probably switch to Genji when the timeline reaches post-recall, before that it's told from Jesse and Hanzo's perspective.
> 
> Rating would go up next chapter because of description of Hanzo 'killing' Genji, nothing too graphic or gruesome but just in case.
> 
> Not beta'd so please tell me if you spot any mistakes.
> 
> It gets fluffier as the story goes but right now there's only angst ._.
> 
> I love Genji a lot so I want to write about people who had also loved him and still loves him.

 

Jesse McCree remembers very clearly the first time he met Genji Shimada, the man had all four of his limbs cut off, multiple deep cuts on every part of his body.

 

Whoever did this to him wanted to kill him.

 

They gave him the most limited amount of life support, enough to keep him alive for a short period of time, but not enough for him to get any better, a state of stasis.

 

Angela Ziegler was screaming at Jack Morrison, she was the most soft spoken member of the team, but right now she was furious and for a good reason.

 

Jack had a stern expression, kept his spine straight like the good soldier he is.

 

"We need to ensure he would be useful to us, if not there is no point in saving him."

 

"This is a human life we're talking about!"

 

"Angela, there's no use talking to our _commander_ about this."

 

Gabriel Reyes stepped out from the shadows with his arms folded, and gave a disapproving look to Jack, who refused to look him in the eye.

 

"Just trying to do my job, Reyes."

 

"When did your job become letting innocent lives die unless they are of use to you? Is that what Overwatch had become?"

 

Jack kept silent, too prideful to continue the bickering, knowing he was on a moral low ground at this point.

 

So he turned to Genji and looked at the frail and dying young man, his skin pale with a hint of grey, severed limbs wrapped with blood-stained bandage.

 

"Mr Shimada, would you help Overwatch destroy the Shimada Clan? Yes or no."

 

Genji muttered with all his strength, an almost inaudible 'yes'.

 

Did he really have a choice? He already had no dignity, executed by his own brother in front of the whole clan, now he either dies with no dignity in a foreign land, surrounded by strangers, or live on to see what more does life have in store for him.

 

Even if it means the potential for more pain and suffering, but Genji does not want to die like this.

 

Jesse watched from the side as it was all happening, everyone was, but Jesse was the only one who kept coming back to Angela's lab to see the man get pieced back together.

 

He felt a connection to Genji, their circumstances of being here oddly similar, both had no choice, forced into a corner, given the choice that really is not that much of a choice at all.

 

For Jesse, it was between rotting in a prison for the rest of his life or work for the dirty side of the heroic Overwatch.

 

It gets lonely sometimes, to be surrounded by a medical pioneer like Angela, excellent soldiers like Ana, Jack and Gabriel, honorable crusaders like Reinhardt, famous engineers like Torbjorn.

 

Everyone here had a clean slate, could walk on the street and tell people their entire life story without getting spit on.

 

But Genji was different, Genji was more like him.

 

"Does it amuse you?"

 

His voice had an echo, with an accent of a non-native English speaker.

 

"Yes."

 

Jesse admits truthfully, as he sat in front of Genji, who's prosthetics were still being constructed.

 

Angela had said this has been the most difficult project she's ever worked on, he overheard her saying they have to reconstruct almost an entirely new body for Genji.

 

Genji turned his head away, the only movement he's able to do at this point.

 

"Does it bother you? Me being here? In that case, I could leave, but my heart would surely break."

 

Jesse pouted comically, a glimpse of a blush appeared on Genji's face, with the little amount of blood that still flowed inside him, it flowed to his face because of Jesse's words.

 

"No, you can stay and come back whenever you like, I like having you around."

 

There was a hint of playfulness in Genji's voice which made Jesse smile.

 

"And why is that?"

 

"It gets lonely sometimes."

 

Another connection, extremely simple things, without complexity, Jesse liked that.

 

Angela stepped into the lab with a cup of coffee in hand, looking at the two of them and shook her head.

 

She had thought of keeping Jesse out of her lab, a personal policy of her's, she does not like being disturbed when she's working.

 

But this time her patient does not just stay here for a night or two, he has to be here for a very long time, not able to move even an inch from the spot he's been placed in.

 

She would make an exception for him, to let Jesse serve as an entertainer for Genji.

 

After all, morale is a very important factor of healing too.

 

\--

 

After Genji's new body completed it's construction, the very first mission he was given was to tear down the Shimada Clan.

 

He told them everything he knew, everything the clan thought he did not know, some things even the clan did not know.

 

Genji knew people inside Hanamura, his luxuriously wasteful time spent in nightclubs had brought him information, no one was cautious about what they say when around the notoriously useless Shimada son, they just assumed these things mean nothing to him.

 

The day when the Shimada Clan fell, Genji stood in front of the large wall scroll in the main room for a very long time.

 

"What does it say?"

 

Jesse walked up to him and stood next to him, looking at the Japanese words, unable to decipher them.

 

"Dragon's head, snake's tail."

 

"Huh."

 

"It's an idiom for something to start with greatness, but end in shambles. Never understood why our father chose such a negative thing to hung up, but now I suppose it was a warning, which neither of us listened."

 

Jesse took a draw of his cigar, puffing out the smoke.

 

"Did you get your revenge?"

 

Genji turned his head to Jesse and tilted it slightly, it was his way of expression since no one could see his facial expression through the visor.

 

"The person who tried to kill you."

 

Genji turned away and looked at the floor.

 

"No, he isn't here anymore, they told me he left after I 'died'."

 

"Hmmpf." Jesse let out a frustrated breath, he thought it could end something once the Shimada Clan was wiped.

 

Knowing the person is still out there does not sit well with Jesse, like the person who sabotaged him to get captured by Overwatch so the rest of them could run free.

 

Jesse wanted to ask for the details of the incident, he was curious what could have happened to make a man do this do another man.

 

As a gunslinger, killing someone was easy and hassle-free, a bullet to the head, say goodbye to the person forever.

 

But knives and swords, those are personal.

 

To stab it into the flesh of another living being, feel the resistance as you glide the blade, feel the warmth of the blood on your own hands.

 

It was cruel even to him.

 

\--

 

Genji was unstable, which was understandable.

 

But it still brings a tug to Jesse's chest whenever Genji flinches from just a hand on his shoulder.

 

Everyone assumed that Genji does not like to be touched, so they stopped touching him entirely.

 

But Jesse knows that's not true, he could see the hints of sadness in Genji's movements whenever one of them quickly apologises and runs away from him.

 

It is not easy being a new member of Overwatch, Jesse would know.

 

He was a troublemaker when he first joined, rebellious and uncontrollable.

 

But the rest of the members handled him, disciplined him, and as bad as that sounds, it was an indication that they cared about him.

 

It is not the same for Genji, they had too much sympathy for him to do anything when Genji lash out, they had all seen the state Genji was in when he was brought in.

 

Even Jack shies away from doing anything due to the guilt of putting Genji in the spot back then.

 

Jesse watched from a distance as Genji knocks into a shelf hard enough to cause a slight dent on his body, still unable to control his new body without causing harm to both himself and others, unaware of how much strength he had.

 

He watched as Genji pushed the shelf, causing it to fall, startling the rest of the team in the room.

 

Jesse knew enough was enough, he walked to Genji and picked the smaller man up easily.

 

"You're coming with me."

 

Genji was confused, but stopped his reflex from attacking Jesse to break free, and allowed the taller man to carry him back to Jesse's room.

 

"You've got issues, man."

 

"I am aware of that, but thank you for your accurate assessment."

 

"I can help you."

 

"How are you so sure you'll be able to help me in any way?"

 

"I can **try** to help you."

 

Genji looked at Jesse through his visor, unwilling to admit that Jesse's words made his heart flutter.

 

"I accept your attempt to help me."

 

Jesse let out a sigh of relief, threw his cowboy hat onto his bed and spread out his arm.

 

"Try to hug me."

 

"What?"

 

"Your strength, you need to learn to control it, hug me without crushing my bones."

 

"And what if I do crush your bones."

 

"Then carry me to Angela's lab, whatever, hug me."

 

Genji hesitated for a long time before reaching out and wrapping his arms around Jesse's torso.

 

His arms hovered over Jesse's body, afraid to get any closer.

 

"Tighter."

 

Genji tightened his hold slightly.

 

"Tighter."

 

A little more.

 

"Tighter." 

 

Genji's body is pressed against Jesse's, his head leaning against Jesse's broad chest.

 

He could smell the cologne Jesse uses even through his visor, a strong scent, but pleasant.

 

"You can go a bit tighter if you really like me."

 

Genji smiled under his mask and hugged Jesse just a little bit tighter.

 

\--

 

Jesse liked Genji, he knew that.

 

But eventually, it starts to become something more, something different.

 

Lying on his bed, he hugged Genji close, the man curled up into a ball, making himself even smaller than he already is as compared to Jesse.

 

"Does it feel... uncomfortable? My body."

 

Genji asked, his voice shaking.

 

"No, I like it."

 

Genji scoffed, he does not believe Jesse.

 

Jesse hugged him closer, kissed the back of Genji's neck, feeling the usually cool metal becoming warm.

 

"I'm serious, I like your body."

 

"You're a good person, Jesse."

 

Genji said, as he wriggled out of Jesse's embrace, and headed to the door.

 

This is not the first time Jesse's felt affection for someone, but this is the first time it hurts so much.

 

Like the body he's been placed into, Genji had built a cold hard wall around himself.

 

He's seen the way Genji studies himself, looking at every inch of his new body, he knew Genji's face plate could be removed, but he never takes it off in front of anyone, not even when he's alone with Jesse.

 

Jesse tries to reassure him, tries to comfort him, but it was not enough.

 

He does not know what more could he do, so he does everything he could.

 

But perhaps Genji does not feel the same way about him at all, perhaps it was an unrequited affection that is better to be kept to himself.

 

Yet every time Genji knocks on his door, he would still open it, and hold Genji close.

 

He prays for the day it would get better, for Genji to open his heart to him, to love himself as much as Jesse adores him.

 

Jesse was afraid to admit it, but perhaps he was in love, and he was afraid it would never be returned.

 

But even so, he could not help it, with each passing day his love for Genji grows stronger and stronger.

 

The way Genji leans into his embrace, the touch of his bionic fingers on Jesse's skin, the sound of his voice, the rare times when he laughed...

 

The most self-destructive nature of love is to love someone even though you knew you would get hurt by them.

 

\--

 

It was one of the rare chances Genji and Jesse get to go on a mission alone together, everyone else had been assigned to an emergency mission dealing with a God program that re-emerged.

 

While Jesse and Genji were tasked to deal with a small group of Omnic thugs who had been causing trouble for the locals.

 

They found them easily, it never ceases to amaze Jesse every time he sees an Omnic with a new distinctive personality, just like humans.

 

Genji strikes first, he always does, making full use of the enhanced speed and agility his new body had provided him.

 

He provided a distraction, giving Jesse the opportunity to throw a flashbang, stunned a couple of them, Jesse quickly handcuffs them up before they snapped out of it.

 

They thought it was going to be easy until one of them threw a hand grenade towards them.

 

Genji quickly grabs Jesse and shielded him with his own body, the blow pushing them both against a wall.

 

The hit to the wall caused a few minutes of blankness to Jesse's mind and when he starts to slowly regain his consciousness, all he could hear was Genji's panicked voice.

 

"N-No... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... I-I'll call Angela now... I'm so sorry Jesse..."

 

Jesse wants to reach his hand out to comfort Genji, tell him it was okay.

 

That was when he finally felt the pain in his left arm.

 

A completely fractured bone, his entire forearm had to be amputated by the time the extration team found Genji struggling to carry the much larger man out of the place, and brought them back to the base at Watchpoint: Gibraltar.

 

Genji was silently sitting beside Jesse, his focus fixed onto Jesse's missing arm.

 

"Hey, hey, it's not your fault okay? You saved my life."

 

Genji raised his head and looked at Jesse's face.

 

"You're a good person, Jesse."

 

Jesse felt a pang to his heart, he tried to get up from the bed, but struggled, still unused to only having one arm.

 

He gave up and decided to pull Genji down to him instead.

 

With his right arm, he held Genji's head to his chest, hoping the other man could hear his quickened heartbeat.

 

"I..."

 

Jesse wants to confess his feelings, to tell Genji how he really felt, to let Genji know none of this was because he was a good person.

 

It was because he loved him.

 

The anaesthetic was making his head fuzzy, a good time to say what he does not dare to say on a regular day.

 

But before he could let it out, Genji's hands reached to the back of his own head and pressed onto the latch that removed his face plate.

 

" _Aishiteru_ , Jesse."

 

It was the first time Jesse had seen Genji's face ever since he acquired his new body, his face was scarred, but his features remained, and Jesse swear to God Genji has the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever seen.

 

Genji planted a kiss on Jesse's lips, his scarred lips were warm and soft, it was a gentle kiss and lasted only a few short seconds.

 

"What does it mean?"

 

Genji did not answer him, while the anaesthetic in Jesse's body is starting to kick in with full force, his vision slowly getting blurred, just a few seconds later, he fell into unconsciousness.

 

By the time he woke up, Genji was gone.

 

He thought he might just have been assigned to a new mission, that he would return soon.

 

But he waited and waited, and Genji never came back.

 

Eventually, Angela finally told him that Genji left Overwatch for good, his reasoning was that he had proven to be a hazard on missions, has the potential to cause injury to other members.

 

It was a reason Morrison could not reject, so they let him go.

 

There was a small flame of hope still burning inside Jesse, that Genji would come back, or at least come back to find him.

 

As the days goes by, the flame starts to burn weaker, it became hoping for a letter, a mail, a postcard, just to acknowledge Genji still remembers him.

 

That flame finally died on the day Overwatch fell, at Swiss Headquarters, the explosion that killed the leader of Overwatch and the leader of Blackwatch.

 

Overwatch was no more, for once in his life, Jesse was free from his bindings.

 

But no joy was felt that day, to have lost his mentors, his newfound family, and any hope of Genji having a place to come back to, to find Jesse.

 

He went on his own way, went under the radar, with a hole in his heart.

 

Genji Shimada became a name he buried in his heart, a person from his past, a treasured memory.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about Genji and Hanzo's brotherhood.
> 
> I must first say, I don't have any siblings, and for a very long time the concept of having a sibling is very abstract to me.
> 
> But I tried to think of my friends who have siblings and how they interact with their siblings.
> 
> I hope I had managed to make their brotherhood believable, still in the brainstorming stage for the next chapter but I'm definitely going back to McGenji and exploring McCree and Genji's relationship a bit more.

 

 

"Why did he kill his own brother?" Hanzo Shimada, at the age of 13, asked his home tutor, an intelligent and soft spoken lady always wearing a nice set of kimono.

 

Today the colour of her kimono was in the colour of Sakura petals, a gentle pink like the kind of person she is.

 

Hanzo liked having her as his teacher, she was gentle but strong, her power lies in her knowledge.

 

"Because they were both hungry for power."

 

"But the position was supposed to be given to the first born."

 

"What is supposed to be, does not always mean it has to be, some would believe if you want something, you have to fight for it. Many in fact, succeeded in their quest."

 

Hanzo was silent and looked out of the window to see his younger brother, Genji Shimada, 10 years old, running around the hallways.

 

Unlike Hanzo, Genji had chosen to keep his hair short and spiked up, long hair tends to get in the way of his sight as he jumps around while playing.

 

"Are you worried that you and your brother would end up like that?"

 

Hanzo nodded, his eyes fixed on Genji, who has caught his brother staring at him, and flashed Hanzo a bright smile, waving excitedly at him.

 

"The higher you stand, the lonelier you get, always remember, family is the pillar we rely on, without it, we are alone in the world."

 

\--

 

Jealousy was something Hanzo had always tried to hide, but it was hard for him not to feel it when his parents had always been so blatantly biased to Genji.

 

He never asked to be the first born, he never asked to be next in line to take over the Shimada Clan.

 

But he had to, and the strong sense of responsibility his upbringing had instilled into him made him feel shameful whenever he envied Genji's more carefree life.

 

Every now and then he wonders, would Genji ever want to take over as leader of the clan? What if one day he draws out his swift blade and stabs it into Hanzo's chest.

 

That worry eventually died out, as Genji descended into the wasteful life filled with alcohol and women the moment he reached adulthood, spending most of his time in nightclubs and not a single care for the family business.

 

Hanzo no longer envied him, instead he pitied him.

 

Unlike Hanzo, Genji had no direction in his life, he was a product of growing up with too much privilege but given too little responsibility.

 

Genji always comes home just as Hanzo wakes up for his morning training when the sun was starting to rise.

 

Every day Hanzo witness Genji stumbling to his room covered in the stench of alcohol.

 

"This is not healthy, Genji, take care of your body."

 

Finally one day, Hanzo could not keep a blind eye to it anymore.

 

He sees the lipstick marks on Genji's collar, face and neck, scratch marks on his hand, his shirt messily worn and still half untucked, with a few buttons in the wrong spots.

 

Genji was surprised at his brother's concern, the two of them barely talked ever since their mother's passing and their father's health quickly deteriorating, leaving more responsibility on Hanzo's shoulder.

 

"It's okay Anija, I won't die so easily."

 

Genji flashed Hanzo a wide grin while leaning against the door frame.

 

Hanzo let out a heavy sigh and watched as Genji stumbled back to his room with difficulty.

 

He thought about going forward to help Genji back to his room, but instead turned away, walking in the opposite direction, to where his responsibilities lie.

 

\--

 

The day their father passed away, Genji was passed out in one of those shady nightclubs he spends most of his time in, surrounded by people who he can hardly name.

 

He never got to see his father for the last time, and when he was practically carried back to the Shimada Castle, Hanzo punched him in the face.

 

After all the years of coddling and protecting Genji, his younger brother appreciated none of it, enjoyed it with so little care, and could not fulfil even the most basic filial piety towards their father.

 

Genji took the punch with no resistance and had no intention to retaliate, he slumped onto the floor, his shoulder hunched.

 

"Do you know what was the last fucking thing he said to me?"

 

Hanzo shouted, his voice hoarse from the tears he had shed.

 

"He asked me to take care of you! Even when he's about to die you were the only thing he couldn't leave behind! And how did you repay him? By wasting your life away!"

 

The lack of response from Genji only made Hanzo angrier, he rather Genji scream and shout back at him, insult him, to show that he cares.

 

Then Genji jumped up and hugged him, a hug so tight it felt as though Genji was clinging onto Hanzo for his life, he could feel the uncontrollable trembling, and the sound of Genji sobbing so quietly it was inaudible until now.

 

"I'm sorry Anija... I'm sorry..."

 

Anger escaped his body, and all that's left was grief.

 

Hanzo stumbled onto the floor, hugging Genji back, with tears streaming down his face.

 

They were all each other had in the world now.

 

\--

 

Right after their father's death, it was as though a dam has been destroyed, as the floodgate of disapproval from the elders over Genji's behaviour drowned over Hanzo every single day.

 

"He would become a problem, a disgrace to the clan."

 

"Have you seen how often he gets onto the local tabloid?"

 

"What if a rival clan sent a spy to get information from him to destroy us?!"

 

Hanzo sat in the main room in silence, none of the elders had dared to talk this way to his father.

 

His father's teachings had always been that fear is the least effective way to be a leader.

 

To be respected ensures a much more prolonged loyalty amongst the followers.

 

Hanzo wishes to be a respectable leader, and as of now, it seems like the only way he could gain that respect is through straightening out his brother.

 

He convinced himself that was what he wanted too, for Genji to join him in leading this empire.

 

When Genji stumbled back to his room that night, he did not expect to see Hanzo waiting for him in his own room.

 

"Genji, we need to talk about your choices in life."

 

Still slightly tipsy from the large amount of alcohol he had consumed, Genji slumped onto the floor, sitting opposite Hanzo.

 

Unlike Hanzo, who is sitting in Seiza position, Genji had his legs crossed, his back leaning against the wall.

 

"Anija... Don't you have to wake up early...?"

 

Hanzo felt a pull in his chest hearing Genji's concern over him.

 

"You need to buck up and start helping me with the family business."

 

"...Why?"

 

"Because... Because you're my brother."

 

"There's no tradition for that."

 

"It's not about the tradition! I'm asking you to help me."

 

Genji had a look of confusion on his face.

 

"Do you need my help Anija? I think you're doing perfectly fine."

 

Hanzo was starting to feel frustrated, Genji had a good point, there was never a tradition for the younger siblings to get involved in any of the family business, most older generations had the leader's siblings in a large array of different occupations.

 

One of which chose to work in the law enforcement as a prosecutor, and brought her own brother to the jail.

 

She was not able to bring down the entire empire, but everyone knew how hard she tried, until the day her own nephew, the son of her brother, put an arrow through her chest.

 

"You're using the resources of the family, you ought to contribute."

 

Genji's eyes lit up, it became Hanzo's turn to be confused.

 

"Does it mean I can move out?"

 

"Where would you go?"

 

"I don't know, rent a place, get a part-time job, I'll survive out there, I just need the green light from you! Mother and Father would have never allowed me to do that."

 

Hanzo thought about it, it was not too bad an idea, for Genji to be independent, to have a life of his own.

 

Every once in a while, they could meet up, catch up on each other's lives.

 

One day Genji would meet a nice girl, get married, have children, none of which had to be associated and bound by the Shimada Clan unless if Hanzo does not produce any children of his own, which is very unlikely.

 

He would be arranged into a political marriage with another Clan, one that would aid the Shimada Clan's business, a woman he's never met, a marriage that would survive on obligation than love.

 

Then jealousy consumed Hanzo once again when he was hit by the realisation how unfair it really was for the two of them.

 

Genji could choose to live life however he wants, while Hanzo's entire life had already been planned out from the moment he was born.

 

He was never given a choice, and never would have one.

 

In addition, would he really earn the respect of the clan and the elders, if he had let Genji go?

 

What if Genji chose to work with the police, and back stab the Shimada Clan? Hanzo would be the laughing stock written into the history, a lesson of caution.

 

"No, you can't move out, you have to help me with the business."

 

Hanzo's words were like a bucket of cold water, waking Genji up from the dream.

 

"I won't."

 

A straightforward answer, matched with a rare stern look on Genji's face.

 

"Why?"

 

Genji did not answer Hanzo immediately, he bites onto his own lower lip, refused to look at Hanzo.

 

"Are you... Are you ashamed of us?!"

 

A piece of memory came back to Hanzo, a time when Genji first entered elementary school.

 

They were in the same school, with Hanzo a few grades higher.

 

He remembered Genji actively avoiding Hanzo, lying to his classmates that they were not related, that it was a coincidence their last name happened to be the same.

 

Because everyone already knew back then, who Hanzo Shimada was.

 

The eldest son of the Shimada Clan's leader, they feared him, and Genji did not want that.

 

Genji's lies were able to fool the first graders for a short while, before their parents exposed the truth to their children, telling them he was indeed the second son of the Shimada Clan's leader.

 

He was alienated, the parents of the kids had told them to avoid him, fearing that their child would get into trouble with the clan if they offended Genji in any way.

 

None of this happened for Hanzo, who entered the school at the same time as a few of the children of other members of the Shimada Clan who he quickly befriended, he never needed that many friends to thrive in the first place, a selected few was good enough.

 

Eventually, they moved Genji to another school, which this time, Genji had learned, and tried his best to make friends based on his own wits and charm.

 

He kept at it for the rest of his life, being the much friendlier person who warms up easily to whoever he meets, as compared to Hanzo who would rather keep to himself than socialise.

 

Snapping out of his memory, Hanzo felt deeply offended by Genji's perception of the clan.

 

The clan that raised and provided for him, that clan that is now Hanzo's weight to carry, the clan that is Hanzo's entirely life from the moment he was born.

 

All invalidated by his own brother.

 

"You..."

 

Anger burned inside of him, clouding his thoughts, he struggled to voice this anger out.

 

So instead he vented it out the only other way he knows.

 

A slap to Genji's face, hard enough to immediately cause a hand print on Genji's skin.

 

"Just because you like this fucking shithole doesn't mean I have to like it too."

 

Adding fuel to the fire, Genji turned hostile too, he glared at Hanzo with two bright eyes filled with determination.

 

Hanzo raised his hand to strike Genji again, but this time Genji caught him by the wrist and yanked him away.

 

"I'm leaving this place whether you like it or not, try and stop me!"

 

Genji speeds towards the door, running through the corridors towards the exit of the castle.

 

Speed had always been Genji's strength, something Hanzo could never match up to.

 

Hanzo followed behind, shrouded by anger and desperation to stop Genji, he unsheathed the sword in the main room and slung it at Genji.

 

That was Hanzo's strength, his aim.

 

The sword sliced through Genji's thighs, blood spilling onto the floor.

 

Genji screamed in pain, falling to the floor, crawling with his two arms to get away.

 

Hanzo picked up the sword, and stabbed it through Genji's right arm, sliding it downwards to tear the muscles.

 

"Why!"

 

A stab to Genji's other arm.

 

"Won't!"

 

Multiple slashes on Genji's back, cutting deep enough to expose his bones.

 

"You!"

 

A stab that punctured through Genji's lung, as the younger man starts struggling to breathe.

 

"Just!"

 

Genji could barely struggle now, his cries grew weaker and weaker.

 

"Listen?!"

 

A stab to where Genji's heart was the end of it.

 

Hanzo huffed for air, propping himself up with the sword, his entire body covered in Genji's blood.

 

A sharp scream of the housekeeping maid was heard, and Hanzo finally snapped out of it.

 

Only now could he see the true horror of the sight before him.

 

The scream had quickly gathered an audience, whispers and gasps were heard.

 

But the elders watched from a distance, they were calm, as though this was the outcome they were anticipating.

 

"You did what had to be done, Hanzo."

 

There have been many histories of bloodshed within the family, be it for power or just conflicts over differing ideals.

 

But Hanzo has now become a hollow shell, he stared blankly at his brother's motionless body for a very long time, before he finally got up, packed his things, changed into a new garment that has not been stained by blood, and left Hanamura for good.

 

He travelled around the globe, working as a mercenary to sustain himself.

 

Killing became easier after Genji's death, with the blood of his brother on his hands, the blood of strangers were nothing to him.

 

He was searching for redemption, but he does not know how to get it.

 

The ghost of Genji haunts him in the form of memories, everywhere he looked, he could see shadows of Genji.

 

An orange scarf reminds Hanzo of the one Genji always wore in his youth.

 

A head of green hair like when Genji dyed his own raven hair to green out of rebellion for the family's restriction, but eventually became his signature look.

 

A strawberry shortcake that their father always brought home on Christmas day every year, it was their mother's favourite, and it was his father's way of showing his love for her. But it was so deeply embedded in their childhood it became an informal tradition, even after their parents both passed away, Hanzo took it upon himself to buy it home every Christmas.

 

A Pachimari stuffed toy Genji always used to charm the girls he liked, but Hanzo knew he got it mostly for himself, he had seen Genji hugging it to sleep during his youth.

 

An arcade where Hanzo would always find Genji in their teenage years.

 

Sparrow, a nickname their mother gave to Genji, a name filled with so much love and adoration.

 

He hoped one day his arrow would miss and someone would put a bullet through his head to end it all.

 

End his suffering, so he could join his family in the afterlife.

 

He would ask for Genji's forgiveness, even though he would not deserve it.

 

But perhaps in the afterlife, Genji would be more forgiving, and Hanzo would be wiser.

 

Every year on the day of Genji's death, Hanzo would drop everything and travel back to Hanamura, take out the guards silently and head to the main room, where Genji took his last breathe.

 

He had hoped his family honoured Genji with a decent funeral, a proper burial, let him rest next to his parents.

 

But Hanzo does not deem himself worthy enough to face his parents anymore, he failed to protect their sparrow.

 

So he settled with honouring Genji's memory in this place, in front of the blood stained scroll, damaged by a sword cut, words on the scroll reflecting Hanzo's very own life.

 

Whether he is doing this for himself or for Genji, Hanzo does not know.

 

He just sits there in silence, till the incense burns out, then he would leave this place once more, a circle that repeated endlessly, till the day Hanzo could no longer physically come back here anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think it's possible for McCree and Genji to have lived their life to around 25 without ever having other romances in their life, so I imagined how their previous romances would have been like, and how it would have influenced their relationship with each other.
> 
> I kind of imagined them to be pansexuals, but you can see them as bisexual too.
> 
> Wrote a little from Genji's perspective this time.

 

 

 

The first person Genji Shimada ever felt something real for, was a girl in his high school.

 

She was a hardworking studious girl, not strikingly good looking, but pleasant to look at, she always wore her hair in two low braids, and had a pair of cute round framed glasses.

 

Genji never understood why someone like her would be interested in someone like him, and not have her dreams shattered after talking to him for more than 5 minutes.

 

They were standing beneath a tree during lunch break when she handed him the pink envelope.

 

Genji did not reject her, he had never rejected anyone before, he enjoyed the benefits that came from people's adoration.

 

Normally he would return these benefits he gets with physical pleasure, and most would be satisfied with that.

 

But she was different, Genji felt that he could not do this with her.

 

So when she prepares Bento for him every day for lunch, helps him with his homework, Genji often felt guilty.

 

She never asked for anything in return and was always just there, silently waiting.

 

Eventually, Genji fell in love with her too, it was hard not to.

 

Except he knew this relationship could never work out.

 

He would end up hurting her, leaving a scar in her heart, as she walks away from him, forever traumatised from the pain Genji had left her.

 

So he did the only sensible thing he had ever done in a long time and stayed with her as friends and nothing more.

 

They were close, but never close enough to be considered to be in a relationship.

 

On the day of their graduation, they were saying goodbye for the last time.

 

She was going to move to another city to continue her studies at a prestigious university, and before she left, she leads Genji to the same tree where she confessed to Genji.

 

In all 3 years, the only thing she's ever asked from Genji that day was a mere kiss.

 

Genji cupped her face gently, he could see the tears in her eyes, his heart ached when he pressed his lips gently against her's.

 

"I'll never forget you, Genji."

 

Genji has had so many partners in bed before he had already lost count, he could hardly remember all their faces or names.

 

But the ones that he truly loved, the ones who had a place in his heart, and not just a name he will forget within a week, those he handled with so much care, as though he was holding the person's heart with his own hands.

 

He never forgot her too, she was one of the things in his youth that he treasured the most.

 

\--

 

Jesse McCree did not have many privileges to love back in the days he was in the Deadlock Gang.

 

But that did not stop him from taking notice of one, particularly charming prostitute.

 

The name of the occupation itself sounds bad, but these ladies are some of the most powerful people here in the south-west.

 

She was strong, independent, had all the men at her feet, begging her to spend a night with them.

 

But she was selective, she only chooses the ones who interest her.

 

And Jesse happened to be one of them.

 

She was older than he was, in her late 20s, and Jesse could almost see the things she's been through from the look in her eyes.

 

Her eyes, they drew him in like no other, as though they were telling a story.

 

He became her regular customer, and she always gives him a massive discount to her usual rates, she said it was because she adored him.

 

It was never beyond that, the relationship between a customer and a service provider.

 

But Jesse felt they had something more, the way she always leans into him in bed, asking him to stay for the night, even though he knew she never allowed any of her other customers to do that.

 

He always obliged, he wanted to stay, hug her close, enjoy the only time he could spend with her before the sun rises and their paths diverged once more.

 

It was Valentine's day, and Jesse bought a bouquet of roses, it was sappy and corny, but he wanted to give something to her.

 

But when he arrived at the brothel, all he saw was a crowd, and in the middle of it, was her motionless body laid on the floor, with a bullet through her chest, and blood soaked through her beautiful dress.

 

Two men got into an argument over her, fighting for her attention, drew their guns out, and she got caught in the crossfire.

 

Jesse could not get any closer to her, she was admired by too many, and to the rest of the world, he was just one of them.

 

Days later, Jesse laid the wilting bouquet of roses at her grave, one that the two men had spent a fortune on, in apology to what they had done to her.

 

He walked away never knowing did they really have anything more, or was he just a fool all along.

 

\--

 

Genji was afraid to love.

 

But that does not mean he could help it.

 

He sat at the top of one of the buildings in Watchpoint: Gibraltar, watching the sunset with Jesse beside him.

 

It became a regular thing, for them to spend time together after their duties and training.

 

Sometimes they would just sit there till the sun sets, with the sky turning darker and darker, till all the stars came out.

 

Neither of them clarified what was going on between them, they could no longer pass it off as something purely physical, it was not just primal needs they had for each other.

 

Genji liked being touched by Jesse, it made him feel human again, even though the sensors on his body are synthetic, they send signals to his brain, telling him what it would have felt if he still had his flesh form.

 

Unlike the ruthlessness he had on the battlefield, Jesse was always gentle and soft when around Genji, as though he was delicate when in reality it was the exact opposite.

 

But he also liked just being around him, hearing him hum and whistle the same tunes over and over, hearing him talk about his past, hearing him laugh at something Genji says out of sarcasm.

 

Sometimes Genji would tell his own story to Jesse, about Hanamura, about the Shimada Clan, his family, the nightlife he had spent most of his adulthood in.

 

They would sit there for hours, soaking in each other's company, feeling less alone in this world with every passing second.

 

Genji knew Jesse liked him romantically, the slightly older man was hardly discreet with his affection, and Genji had enough experience in his younger days to know when someone's interested in him.

 

But Genji was afraid of hurting him.

 

He felt as though he was holding Jesse's heart in his bionic hands, the heart being so fragile, he could crush it easily without even realising he had done it.

 

Jesse does not deserve such pain, and being with Genji almost guarantees that pain.

 

Genji knew himself well enough to know that he was a ticking time bomb, full of unpredictabilities, highly unstable.

 

Someday perhaps a God program would adapt and gain the ability to control his body, or even worst, his mind.

 

He might harm an innocent with his own hands, or he might end up injuring Jesse.

 

He might have to force Jesse to make the painful decision to kill him, put a bullet through his head before it goes too far.

 

Whenever these thoughts came into his mind, it was almost as though Jesse could sense them, and he would plant a kiss on Genji's faceplate, wrap his arm around his shoulder, pulling Genji close to him.

 

"You okay there, spark?"

 

Genji would lean into Jesse's embrace, rest his head against the cowboy's chest and feel his strong heartbeat.

 

Jesse was afraid of rejections.

 

He was afraid of finding out that it was all just a dream in his own head, that the other person never cared for him as much as he did for them.

 

It was an aftereffect of getting thrown under the bus by the Deadlock Gang, used as a sacrifice to Overwatch for them to stop going after their tail.

 

They were the same people he used to think was his family, the only people he had in his life.

 

He knew Genji would not do that to him, the man may seem snarky and cranky most of the time, but Jesse knew Genji was like a hedgehog, on the outer surface he's filled with spikes, but underneath all that he was soft and vulnerable.

 

But he was afraid that Genji was only with him because he had no one else.

 

That if someone better appears, if someone cheery and charming like Lena decides to befriend Genji, he would leave Jesse in a heartbeat and never look back.

 

So he never asked for a clear answer for how Genji felt, and just enjoyed what he had in front of him, living in the short moments of ecstasy when Genji was here with him.

 

To be able to hear Genji's voice, hold him, make him laugh, that was enough to him.

 

He does not ask for much, even though he so desperately wants more.

 

But the fear of driving Genji away with his own greediness kept him at bay.

 

He told himself every day, that one day he would officially court Genji, take him out to dates on their off-duty days, watch a movie together, go to dinner together, bring him to a theme park, give him a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate on Valentine's Day.

 

But that day never came, and he might never get the chance to ever do any of that.

 

The day Genji left, he told himself it was for the best, that Jesse deserves someone better, someone who was not in constant conflict with their own existence, would not cause harm to him, someone who brings fewer complications to his life.

 

Someone who could hold Jesse's heart in their hands and not be afraid of crushing it accidentally.

 

He hopes Jesse would forget him, that Genji was just a writing on the sand, easily washed away by the waves.

 

He thought he would never see him again, and that their paths are now two parallel lines, never to cross again.

 

That day, Genji felt as though he tore his heart right out of his chest, and left it behind, where Jesse was at.

 

Genji loved Jesse, only then did he dare to admit this.

 

The tall and tanned man wearing an absurd cowboy costume in this day and age, who always had a smug smile on his face, speaking with a thick southwestern accent, saying slangs that nobody else knew the meaning of.

 

The man who treated Genji with so much love and respect, showered him with affection and reassurance when he needed it the most, who never pushed Genji's boundaries, who would not even lay a single finger on Genji without Genji's permission.

 

Genji loved him so very much, but the more he loved him, the more he had to let him go.

 

After Genji left, Jesse would sometimes sit on top of the same roof alone, where he and Genji watched the sunset and starry sky for many numerous days and nights.

 

He would sit there alone for hours, humming a tune he learned from his much younger days, a tune Genji once said he particularly liked.

 

Some days he would allow a few tears to roll down his cheeks when his heart ached especially much.

 

He told himself, someday he will find Genji again, someday they will meet again, someday their paths will cross again, and he would find out about Genji's true feelings towards him.

 

He wants to know what Genji said before he left, perhaps it meant goodbye, or perhaps it meant something else.

 

Whatever the truth was, he would take it.

 

Either bury his heart for good or revive it and hand it to Genji.

 

Whatever the outcome might be, it is better than what he has now.

 

He loved Genji so very much, and no matter how painful it felt, nothing will ever change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My interpretation of the 'Wild West' is based on this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMycRBIXTWk , I liked the fact that prostitutes in that time and place were extremely successful and powerful women.
> 
> Also 'spark' is a term I found when I Googled Western slangs, and apparently it's the slang for 'a lover, a beau' and I think Jesse would definitely call Genji that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a while, it was kinda difficult because at first, I wanted it to be a chapter that focused on Genji and Hanzo, with Jesse as a spectator and what he thought of it.
> 
> But then it eventually became a 'ghost of their past' kind of thing, which I decide to explore a bit of Jesse's past too.
> 
> I'm not entirely satisfied with the outcome of this chapter but I still hope you'd enjoy it, and feedbacks are very welcomed!

Jesse McCree had plenty of things in his past he would rather not talk about, not because he was afraid of people's judgments, but rather he does not want to relive the memory of those events.

He thought it was the same with Genji, who almost never spoke a word of what exactly happened to him to have caused him to end up like this.

But when the day came, the day when Overwatch gave the green-light to get started on the operation to bring down the Shimada Clan, Jesse brought Genji to a corner.

"You sure you want any part of this? I coul' tell Reyes... And he'd talk... I mean, argue with Morrison to not force you to take part in this, hell I'm sure I can even get Captain Amari to be on Reyes' side, Morrison respects her more than anyone, I'm sure-"

"Jesse, I know Hanamura better than any of you."

"That's not the point! I'm-"

"There's nothing to worry about."

Genji said in the most stoic tone he could manage, but Jesse could still tell he was lying from the slight waver in his voice.

"Would you... See that person again? The person who... Would you kill them?"

"I don't know."

The only thing Genji could think of was to ask a simple question, 'why?', the brother who he thought was all he had left after both their parents left the world, the person who he used to think could trust with his life, was the person who tried to take it away from him.

Was he really that terrible of a brother? That much of a burden? Why could he not just let him leave the clan if that was the case?

Jesse putting his forehead against Genji's faceplate snapped him out of these thoughts, he placed a hand on the slouching man's chest in an attempt to reassure him.

"I would be fine, Jesse, besides, you would be there with me."

Jesse smiled and planted a quick kiss on where he thinks Genji's mouth would be under the faceplate.

Even though Genji's faceplate does not have any sensors, he still feels a tingling sensation on his face every time Jesse does that.

A feeling so warm and pleasant, that goes right down his spine and stays with him for a while before it slowly goes away.

Walking through the familiar streets was a surreal experience, it was like re-living a distant memory, brushing shoulders with familiar faces, though he could hardly even remember their names.

Genji's heart was hanging by the thread, anxious of the possibility of bumping into Hanzo, even when he has the perfect disguise to not get recognized.

Is he happy? For Genji to be out of his life.

Would it hurt if he had seen Hanzo walking on the street as though nothing had changed in his life when so much had changed for Genji.

At Genji's request, Jesse accompanied him to a small Izakaya at the corner of a quiet street during their free time before the operation begins.

The owner of the shop was an old man with a kind smile, Genji pretended to be an Omnic and did not consume anything, in order to prevent having to remove his faceplate.

Jesse had a few cups of Sake and short chats with the shop owner who knew very little English.

He could tell this was important to Genji, that this place meant something to him.

A part of him could guess why, in the short span of time he spent there, he felt relaxed, like he could shed off all his pretense and be his true self, a place without judgments.

"Thank you, Jesse." Genji said as they came out of the Izakaya, Jesse simply tipped the rim of his cowboy hat, wrapped an arm around Genji, he gently squeezed Genji's mechanical shoulder, hoping to give him some reassurance, as they walked back towards the temporary base.

The job was easier than they had anticipated, and the reason was revealed the night Overwatch stricken down the Shimada Clan.

The leader of the clan was not Hanzo Shimada, but the son of one of the elders.

A puppet with too many strings attached and does not have his own opinion and leadership.

Just a pawn on a chessboard.

Genji had his blade at the man's neck, watching as the man shivered uncontrollably in fear.

"Where is Hanzo?"

"He... He left after they made him kill his own brother... They didn't think it was going to be this easy... But he just-just packed his bags and left..."

"They made him...?"

"T-To kick him out of the clan... The younger brother was never going to be a threat, but they needed to kick both of them out... so they made one k-kill the other and-"

Genji had heard enough, he withdrew his sword from the man's neck, and walked away, letting other Overwatch agents handle the trembling man.

He walked back to where Jesse was at, like a force that gravitates him to Jesse for comfort and anchor.

He was standing on a ledge that had an open view of this town, at this time of the year the town was covered in snow, it reminds Genji of the day his father died.

His mother had a relatively small funeral, but the day of his father's funeral, almost the whole town attended.

A sea of white, and amongst it, was Genji's bright green hair and red shirt, standing out in the crowd.

Jesse took a draw of the cigar, a frown fixed on his brows.

He wanted to ask many questions but decided to ask none of it.

In the end, he settled for just one question.

"Do you ever miss this place?"

He thinks back to Route 66, the diner with the coffee that tastes like boiled dirt, the canyons and the blaring sun.

"Sometimes."

On the plane back to Gibraltar, Genji took the time to take a closer look at the things he salvaged from that place.

His old swords, a painting their father commissioned as a gift to both Hanzo and Genji, an old photograph of he and his brother, taken during one of their training sessions.

It was a lot easier bringing these things back with him after knowing the elders had a part in what happened to him.

Though it was not enough to completely wipe away the pain he feels, but it was enough to numb him.

A medieval Japan political drama that happened in this day and age, manipulations and murder for power.

Genji thought he was out of it all when he chose the life of alcohol and women, but that was never going to happen, not even if Hanzo had let him leave that place.

He would be pulled right back in, the curse of being born into the Shimada family, being the leader's direct descendant.

Jesse watched from the side, took a peek at the photograph and asked.

"Which one's you?"

"Take a guess."

"Seeing how much green you like to have on you... I'd say the one on the right with the green hair."

"Correct."

"Do I get a prize?"

"No." Genji shrugged, expecting Jesse to be disappointed, but the cowboy simply shuffled closer to him, their bodies pressed together by the side.

"Just let me take a closer look at this photo... well weren't you a heart-breaker back then."

Genji chuckled lightly, amused at Jesse's reaction to his younger self.

"That is pretty accurate."

"Still one now I'd say."

A rush of warmth enveloped his body, Genji silently appreciated Jesse's compliment, temporarily relieved from the memories that haunt him.

\--

Jesse glared at the man before him like he wants to put a bullet through his head, and the truth is he does want to do that.

The man who was the mastermind behind the idea of betraying Jesse back when he was 17, the man who he thought was a father figure to him.

He had a smug grin on his face, unafraid, as though he had seen death in the eye and knew exactly what to expect.

"Relax there young man, we need information from this guy, after that do whatever the fuck you want with me I don't care, but right now, get some stuff out of him."

Gabriel Reyes patted Jesse on the back, before leaving the interrogation room and stood behind the two-way glass to observe.

Jesse tried to do his job as he was told, punched the guy a few times, broke his nose, drew his revolver at least three times before a knock on the glass got him to put the gun back into his holster.

After they got everything they needed from him, the man opened up his hands as wide as he could while being handcuffed, that grin still hanging high even with blood dripping off his face.

"So boy, what do you want to do with me? I can't wait to see how much better your aim got."

"I'm not a boy anymore, and I'm afraid you're not going to see my aim today, not ever." It was Jesse's turn to smile, a sinister one that mimicked the man's grin.

A rope tied into a noose, he hung it around the man's neck, raised the ropes and watched as the man's grin disappeared, replaced with pained struggle.

It was a long and slow death as compared to what a gun and bullet could do.

Jesse absorbed in every bit of the moment, watching the life slowly drained out of the man until he no longer struggled.

"That's messed up," Gabriel said by the time Jesse was done, a deep frown on his face, looking up at the motionless body.

"You won't feel bad for him if I told you half the shit I've seen him do to women and children."

That night back at the Overwatch base, Jesse curled in bed with Genji in his embrace.

"What would you do if you met him again? The man who tried to kill you."

Genji felt Jesse's arms around his waist tighten, leaning closer to Genji.

"I'd ask him why did he do it."

"Just that?"

"The next step differs depending on his answer."

"Why'd you think he did it?"

"I was quite a handful."

"That's not enough of a reason for him to do what he did to you."

"He's my brother, Jesse, it's always been a love-hate relationship."

Jesse's breathing got heavier, his arms wrapped even tighter around Genji.

"If you couldn't kill him, let me do it for you."

Genji listened to Jesse's heartbeat getting faster and faster, he held onto Jesse's wrist, feeling his pulse quickening too.

The man was burning like the sun during high noon, a ball of fire that heats up everything it shines on.

Genji imagines himself looking up at the sun, reaching out to it, feel himself get enveloped into the heat.

Despite the confirmation that Hanzo was manipulated by the elders, Genji still had his doubts.

Perhaps the desire to kill Genji was already a seed inside of Hanzo, and all the elders did was to water it, encourage him.

Perhaps the reason why he left the clan was not because of Genji's death, but the desire for freedom.

Until he has a confirmation, the anger would still be buried inside of him.

"Does it feel good? To get your revenge."

"No."

Genji could hear the quiver in Jesse's voice.

"I thought it would, I really did, but now I could feel is... dread, like someone pulling me through the mud."

"Do you regret it?"

"No, in fact, I wish I could do it again and again, till it starts to feel good."

It never did, as Jesse learned throughout the years.

The initial rush of putting a bullet through people's head is always replaced with dread, a motionless body on the floor, as a pool of blood spreads out beneath them.

Sometimes the blood gets onto him, eventually, he got sick of cleaning them, and just wore a red serape to cover himself up.

He wonders would it feel better to do it with a blade, he added that to the list of things he wants to ask Genji if they ever meet each other again.

Though he never did ask the question, since he learned something new after meeting Genji again.

The blood on their hands, whether by a blade or a gun, none of that matters.

He learned that it was not the lives they had taken that he cares about, but the lives they had with each other.


End file.
